Boundaries: Where do you end and I begin?
Heathy boundaries in a relationship are extremely important. They need to be set up from the beginning. Since most people don’t know how to do this they end up with one of three types of relationships:
Always together, thinking that couples should never be apart. Feeling either abandoned or smothered.
Leading very separate lives, doing things alone or being with friends or family WAY too much. Individuals in this type of relationship feel disconnected and not supported and this usually brings about resentment.
Totally enmeshed with each other. Enabling each other to sustain unhealthy patterns within the relationship as well as individually. (An extreme example would be that substance abuse is tolerated.)
The healthy alternative to these three is INTERDEPENDENCE. This means that each person is a separate entity that functions independently some of the time, and as a couple some of the time. The healthy ratio depends on the individuals.
This is the critical part: these needs must be discussed and agreed upon by both parties.How much time to you need alone? With friends? With family? With your significant other? Speak your truth so that you can get to a state of interdependence.