DO NOT go to the B.A.R.
B = BITTER A = ANGRY R = RESENTFUL! These are the most damaging emotions we can take with us after being hurt. The B.A.R. is a very negative place to be.
Many things don’t turn out the way we would like. Relationships end, and we have all been treated badly at one time or another. This is true not only in affairs of the heart but also with relatives, friends, children, siblings, co-workers, etc. There are skills you can learn that will help you avoid bitterness, anger and resentment. Many of the new adages can be used to keep you on track!
When we practice mindfulness, we learn to feel those ugly emotions, examine them, then let go of them. We don’t keep ruminating over them. Some the most important skills you can use come from mindfulness.
Almost nothing is about you.
One of the best ways to avoid the B.A.R. is to remember that ALMOST NOTHING IS ABOUT YOU. The decisions people make are their decisions. The consequences do affect you, however you cannot control what someone else does.
Whatever you put your attention on expands.
You need to keep working on NOT going to the B.A.R., but you may feel like going. The pull may prove irresistible. Stay for a minute but quickly move on so those negative feelings don’t get bigger.
Let them know and let it go.
Be sure to have that conversation with the person that has hurt you. Then you have done your part, the rest is up to them.
You are in control of you.
Remember that how YOU deal with these issues will mostly affect you, and you are in control of you!