Start when things are small
When dealing with issues in a relationship it is always easier to start when they are small. By this I mean: speak your truth as soon as something bothers you. If you have a conversation at the beginning of an issue, you can can deal with it more effectively.
It’s kind of like when you see your closet getting messy. You watch it and think: ”I really should organize.” Instead, you just pack in more stuff and close the door. Eventually, you can’t even open your closet without being overwhelmed and anxious! If you would have just folded that sweater and hung up that pair of pants in the first place, you’d have a much smaller problem!
When someone does something you don’t like, or hurts your feelings, if you don’t let them know right away, they will probably keep doing it. This can go on for years! And the hurt feelings build and build and finally you freak out. The other party in the relationship will probably be surprised – the usual response is: “What’s your problem?” You have to back track, explain, give examples and get way too upset! The other person also gets upset because, while this has been going on for years to you, it is seemingly coming out of nowhere for them. (This leads right into the adage “Stimulus 2 response 10!”)
See, isn’t this a lot more work than if you had just said something the FIRST time it happened? Stay mindful, be in the here and now, and nip these unpleasant situations in the bud!