Ep. 6 | BYOB (Be in Your Own Business).
We should all have enough to do running our own lives, we don’t need to run anyone else’s. In this episode we introduce the New Adage “BYOB (Be In Your Own Business)”. This simply means that if it doesn’t affect you, stay out of it. Avoid drama with family, friends, colleagues and strangers with this simple mantra!
Members of your family, friends or acquaintances personal issues (money, their relationships, their work issues, any thing that does not involve you personally) are NONE of your business.
Yes, you read that right: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Think about how many times a day, week, or month, that you are upset about some one else’s problems. I’ll bet it is more often then you realize!
BYOB. Be in Your Own Business. This simply means that if it doesn’t affect you then stay out of it. This keeps life simple.
When you find yourself engaged in other people’s problems, ask yourself: “Does this particular issue have any thing to do with me?” “Can I fix it?” “Can I change anything about my behavior that will help?” “Is there any way I can truly help this person?”
And, perhaps the most important question: “Is this any of my business?”
When you sift through all the affairs you get involved with you will find that just by asking yourself that simple question you will train yourself to STOP.
99% of the time there is nothing you can do but listen and empathize, which sounds like this: “I’m sorry you are going through this, it must be really difficult!” It is perfectly appropriate to say: “I feel for you and I know you will be able to work it out.”
When you are in another person’s business you are usually meddling and stressing yourself out. You are expending unnecessary emotional energy! You not only zap your own energy, many times you ignore your own business.
BYOB is your new mantra! This will give you more freedom than you can even imagine, as well as more time to take care of yourself and the things YOU need to do.
BYOB doesn’t mean you have to be an uninterested person who doesn’t care about others. You can still listen to other people’s problems. Validation does not mean agreement, it is just an acknowledgement of the other person’s feelings. You can acknowledge those feelings but don’t give advice, problem solve and get involved.
If you find yourself tempted to get involved, ask yourself: “Is this my business? Do I know what the short- and long-term consequences of getting involved will be?
Another way to look at BYOB is not to get overly involved, over extend yourself or otherwise push a natural boundary that is there.
It feels great when someone at a retail establishment that you frequent remembers your name. Karen gives a shout out to Athleta and Natalie professes her love for the crew at her local Starbucks.
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The Kindred Conversation
Karen Kindred, LCSW
Produced by: Leanna House
Music: Helsinki by Pleasant Pictures Music Club