Ep. 7 | Lose a different way.

What harm does it do to change your game if you’re already losing? In this episode we talk about the New Adage “Lose a different way” and how small changes to your approach can have a huge impact on the outcome.


Karen shares how this adage came to be:

Years ago I played league tennis and I lost every match. Not 6-0, 6-0, but after playing for HOURS and losing in tie-breakers. My husband told me what a coach once said to him and it hit me on so many levels (you might call it an ‘a-ha’ moment):

“Lose a different way.”

If I was going to lose anyway, why not change up my game? I’ve since realized that this works well in LIFE, not just tennis.

Think about it, if you are unhappy in a situation — be it a relationship, work or any other place — if you’re experiencing something in your life that is causing you stress or conflict: change up your game. What harm will it do to change your approach overtly as well as internally? This is such a great way of taking the fear and risk out of changing your behavior.

We are all afraid to switch our game up because we might lose. We don’t realize that we are already losing. When you lose a different way, you will actually start winning because the pressure and fear are gone.

Don’t keep doing the same thing over and over again. Instead of standing at the baseline – switch it up. The worst thing that will happen is that you’ll still lose. But, I can pretty much guarantee it will get better. You will start to win simply by changing your thinking.

Natalie talks about an adage that she uses when testing different concepts in her work “We win or we learn.” Maybe we need to reframe how we thinking about “losing” and instead think about what we’ll learn from changing our game. Which takes even more risk out of the equation.

Other Adages Mentioned in this Episode

A change is as good as a rest.

Peak Moments
Natalie shares a peak moment from The Beachcomber Cafe at Crystal Cove. If you find yourself in Southern California don’t miss the chance to have a drink on the patio! You won’t regret it.

The Kindred Conversation Resources

Book | The New Adages, Volume 1

Audio book | The New Adages, Volume 1

The Kindred Conversation Website | Read all of the New Adages online



The Kindred Conversation App (iTunes)

Contact | podcast@thekindredconversation.com

The Kindred Conversation

Karen Kindred, LCSW

Natalie House

Produced by: Leanna House

Music: Helsinki by Pleasant Pictures Music Club